Coast of Holland.
(that's a beach house!)
Woke up to pouring rain and in the dumps. Thought about staying in my tent cave all day, hidden in the woods.
But when the rain stopped late morning, I decided to venture forth. I have to say the events of the evening before upset my mojo, but it was my own fault camping so out in the open. Not again. Hide to camp: Pretend your hiding from the bad guys (attackers) but you're really hiding from the good guys (cops):) Crazy, mixed-up world, this is! And it's beginning to get to me. I'm feeling more stressed now than ever before. Tonight I'm camped along the cycle path further north off in desert brush, but hopefully hidden by the hilly terrain. That was my attempt any way. And like last night I've got my tent tied out instead of staked because of loose sand and wind. I'm having flashbacks of camping in the southern California desert one particular night. But I think the wind was worse then.
So in my funk this morning I cycled into the next town...large industrial town...and found coffee and wifi. And I used a lifeline: called Dennis:). (that's because I saw he was on Skype and he was up because he had taken his sister to the airport early). I was on the verge of tears. Lost. Unhappy. Tired. Tired if a lot if things: rain, moving, hiding, not understanding the signs (trying not to break any laws but pushing the edge of the envelope). Maybe 2 months is my new limit at least moving like this: alone in a foreign country.
Dennis did some research for me on flights home using frequent flyer miles (economy) from various cities I am near and the best option came up in Hamburg which is near where my biker friend, Heike, has an office. So I called her (after a call to Heike in Cork to get her number - it is nice having friends over here:)) and together we came up with a plan: I'm booking that flight home on the 25th from Hamburg. I'll bike to Bremen (after visiting Amsterdam) and stay with friends of the Heikes. From there I'll take the train to Hamburg on Sunday the 22nd.
Cycle road intersection and road markers!
That gives me a bit more time to enjoy (stress) my trip and a plan to go home and enjoy the end of summer. Now if my gut would just let go and realize no one's going to wake us tonight, I'd be happier.
I'm sitting in my tent in the late evening light eating last night's leftovers of pasta and green beans with pesto. Now my scrumptious chocolate bar dessert.
I think this trip may have quenched my thirst for foreign travel. At least like this: alone, on bike, free camping. We'll see how the next few weeks go. Sometimes I'm not as tough as I like to think I am. And that's okay too. I've had to be do tough my whole life: raising my daughters alone, corporate job, just being a woman in man's world ...that I don't know how to deal withy fears when I have them. I know everything will be all right. I know I'll get my mojo back. Sometimes I wonder what I'm thinking. Do I forget I'm a 62 year old woman? Maybe I am certifiably insane! And when I go home what am I going to do? That just remains to be seen.
Ya know you get the raw, uncensored "me". My ups. My downs. Some days traveling like this feels as easy as pie. Other days I want a "weekend". A day to unwind, to catch my breath, to just relax. And I haven't figured out how to do that. When I got a room a while back, I got bored pretty quickly just wandering around, watching some TV, joking around with the pub owners. This daily dose of endorphins is addictive. It felt awfully good to do some biking when I finally left the pub today after over 4 hours there!
Ok. Enough babbling. That's the plan.
Do I hear voices? I'm getting paranoid! And I don't have the veil of darkness to hide in. Sun doesn't set until maybe 10:30? Could someone let me know?
I need a bit of tent yoga, reading time, and uninterrupted sleep.
Zzzzzz. BagLady
That was at 8:30. Now it's 11:00 pm and I've moved. Some grumpy Dutchman approached my tent about an hour after I finished writing and not 5 minutes after I laid my head down yelling "You have 5 minutes to leave before I call the cops! Can't you read? No camping!". I can read, but not Dutch says I. And I've not been able to find one symbol or reference that says No Camping. "5 minutes!" It will take me 30 minutes to pack up. " You have 5 minutes!". Then he left. I never saw him because I never opened the tent. The cops were nicer. So once again I packed up. This time I headed back about 3 miles to where I knew there were some woods. Now I'm totally lost in here because there are trails everywhere. No place to really hide but I think it's late enough everyone's gone home to bed. I hope Grumpy went back to check and see if I'd gone. So I'm not paranoid and I need to get away from these cycle paths and use the roads. I'd rather deal with cars and be able to find places to camp. That was more fun. Off to sleep. I think I'm okay for another night:).
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